Self-Love Ritual for Valentine's Day
Posted by Cassandra Shea on
Magick for Embracing Yourself this Season
With Valentine’s just under a week away, what better time for love magick? And more importantly, magick for loving and embracing yourself. Whether you struggle with self-love or just want to treat yourself this season, this ritual may be one to write down in your book of shadows and perform this week.
The following ritual is broken down into parts focused on correspondences for love and self-love, the tools and supplies you might choose to gather to prep before the ritual, some timing options for when you might want to perform this ritual, and the steps of the ritual itself. When appropriate, you may find links to products in our shop that can help get you started on this ritual.
These correspondences are generally linked to love and self-love magick. This is not an exclusive list but a starting point to get your ideas going.
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Rose Quartz, Rhodonite, Rhodochrosite, Sunstone, Malachite, Unakite, Citrine, Kunzite, Moonstone, Carnelian, Clear Quartz, Amazonite, Amethyst, Lepidolite, other pink stones, or your favorite crystal
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Pink, Red, White, Yellow, or your favorite colors
Herbs and Flowers
Rose (pink and white in particular), Lavender, Carnation, Lilac, Jasmine, Chamomile, Strawberry Leaf, Lilies, Yarrow, Vervain, Lemon Balm, Hibiscus, Mint, Rosemary, other herbs and flowers for healing specific areas you may need to work on, or your favorite flower or herbs.
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Scents (Incense and Oils)
Rose, Lavender, Strawberry, Vanilla, Jasmine, other scents for healing, or your favorite scents
Flavors (Food and Drink)
Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla, Honey, Sugar, Himalayan Pink Salt, Milk (dairy or non-dairy), Water, or your favorite food and drink
Deities and Spirits
Aphrodite, Freya, Venus, Hathor, Ishtar, Oshun, Aine, Eros, Cupid, Pan, or a deity/spirit you personally work with on a regular basis on self-love and confidence
*Note: be sure to build a relationship with a deity or spirit before calling them in to work with you in a ritual or magick. Do your research and have offerings ready.
Shells, Pearls, Heart, Self-love Sigils, Water, Mirror, Photo of Yourself, or other personal symbols
Photo by Tirza van Dijk on Unsplash
Tools and Supplies
Based on the above list of correspondences, you can select herbs, incense and candle colors based on it for your ritual. The ritual below has several parts that you may want to gather your tools and supplies for ahead of time.
For the Ritual Bath
You will want to gather some bath salts, oils, scented bubble bath, loose herbs, and maybe even incense and candles to sit around the bathtub. Consider getting some fresh flowers and roses that you can use in the bath water as well. You may also consider having a glass of wine and a box of chocolates or your favorite dessert to snack on while bathing. Try to have at least one rose quartz or self-love crystal for the bath ritual as well.
For the Meditation/Journaling
All you will really need for this is your altar, if you have one, decorated for your self-love ritual and a journal and writing tool. You might have one specific candle to represent love during this or several. Incense if that helps you meditate or essential oils in a diffuser. Your journal and writing utensil on hand.
For the Candle Ritual
This one you will want at least one chime candle in the color of your choice for self-love, anointing oil (this could be a blend for self-love or just olive oil), a carving tool, herbs for your intention, and the same self-love crystal from the ritual bath.
For the Poppet Magick
This one requires more prep work ahead of time to have material ready. Get some fabric squares in the color of your choice. You can use quilt squares for this or get a yard of fabric to cut to shape. Prep ahead and cut out two body shaped pieces of fabric. Have stuffing ready and a needle and thread. You can use herbs and your self-love crystal for this project as well.
For Snuggle Time
The poppet you made, if you made it, and yourself is all you need here. Maybe your favorite feel good movie or book and music. Maybe chocolates and a drink too. Your favorite snuggly blanket as well.
Something to consider when doing a self-love ritual is when to plan it for. Some of the best times magickally to perform love magick or self-love magick are on Fridays, when the moon is full or in Venus, on your birthday, on Galentine’s Day (Feb. 13th) or on Valentine’s Day. These are certainly not the only times that love magick can be performed, but because they are associated heavily with the planet Venus and thus the Greek and Roman goddesses of love, they tend to be some of the best for this sort of magick.
Pick a day and time that will work for you. If you are single, performing the ritual on Valentine’s Day may be a good way to spend your time. But if you are in a relationship, maybe you want to perform the ritual the Friday before Valentine’s instead.
This ritual has several parts/steps that can be done on their own or done all together. You may find switching the order of a few steps works better or omitting one or two that don’t work for you and your practice or within your situation.
Step 1: Prepping
First thing is to set your intention. You may choose to write it out as a phrase and then turn it into a sigil for different parts of the ritual. Decide if you want to focus on general self-love or focus on healing your relationship with a specific aspect of yourself that you struggle with like body image or procrastination.
Then read through the rest of the ritual to see which parts you want to perform, which parts you may want to revise, and which parts you want to leave out. And maybe consider adding a step like going on a dinner date with yourself.
Once you decide which steps you are going to perform, look and see what supplies and tools you need to gather and then get them ready. If you don’t want to be super crafty and make a poppet, you may want to skip that step so you don’t have to gather those supplies.
Step 2: Ritual Bath
For this ritual bath you will want to set the mood in the room at the beginning. Start drawing the bath water and add in any bath salts, oils, or bubble bath to the water while the tub is filling. Then set out candles and light them. Light any incense or turn on your essential oil diffuser. Dim the lights if you can and shut the door. Play music as well if you like.
Photo by Mutzii on Unsplash
Once the bath is nearly full to the temperature of your preference you can add in any herbs or flowers to the water. You may want to keep loose herbs in a sachet to help with clean up later. If you are using crystals as well, you can put any water-safe crystals in the bath water or sit them along the edge of the tub if they will be safe from falling off. Have a special rose quartz or other specially chosen self-love crystal on hand for the ritual.
Undress and get in the tub to soak. Spend time just letting yourself be in the bath. Have a sip of wine or tea and a bite of chocolate if you brought it.
Then, when ready, take the rose quartz and hold it to your heart. Sit with your self-love intention. Repeat it as a chant or phrase. Focus on opening your heart center and filling the space with love. Imagine you are giving yourself the biggest, warmest, and most loving hug ever.
You may find yourself getting very emotional during this and crying. It's okay. Keep filling your space with love. Even consider repeating as a chant, “I love myself unconditionally.” If you get too uncomfortable you can stop.
When you do feel you are ready to stop, or if you have gotten too pruny, you can go ahead and get out of the bath. Wrap yourself in a clean towel and empty the tub. If you have a nice fluffy bathrobe, this would be a great time to wear it. Dry yourself a bit and lather your skin with body lotion or oils. Take this time to pamper yourself after the bath. You may want to go about a usual skincare routine for your face as well. Maybe even give yourself a manicure too.
You can get dressed in comfy pajamas or stay in your robe for the next part.
*If you don’t have a bath, you can take a shower instead and use body oil and lotion afterwards instead. Or have a sachet of herbs and salts hanging in the shower as well.
Step 3: Meditation and Journaling
Get settled by your altar. If you have the chance, decorate with things that remind you of you and loving yourself. Maybe have a bouquet of flowers there and at least one candle to focus for your meditation. Light some incense or start your diffuser with scents to help with meditation or evoking love.
Settle down in a comfortable position. Have your journal ready. Then begin your meditation. Take several deep breaths and journey inward in the method that works for you. Hold onto your self-love crystal as well. Focus on going to meet your inner self and speaking with it. Give your inner self a hug in your meditation and talk about ways to build a better relationship with loving yourself while there.
When you are ready, you can return to normal consciousness and then journal about your conversation with your inner self. What insights did they give you? What ways can you build a more loving relationship with yourself? Write down anything that comes to mind and what you saw. Make a point to consider coming back and visiting your inner self again soon to continue your self-love journey and be sure to journal about your experiences.
Step 4: Candle Ritual
When you are ready, grab a chime candle. Carve into it, “I love myself unconditionally” or something similar. You can also carve a sigil into it instead. Then rub it with your oil of choice. Sprinkle some love herbs onto it or roll it in the loose herbs.
Place the candle in a holder or in a small dish of pink himalayan sea salt. Be sure to practice fire safety and make sure it is stable. You can add a sprinkling of other love herbs and self-love crystals around the candle as well. When ready, light the candle and repeat the phrase you carved into it. Hold your self-love crystal from your bath and meditation during this and repeat the phrase. Set the intention that this is the beginning of building a new relationship with yourself and that you will always be here for yourself.
Photo by Kier In Sight on Unsplash
Let the candle burn all the way down. Do not leave the flame unattended. If you can, be sure the candle is lit while performing the Poppet Magick step of the ritual.
Step 5: Poppet Magick
This part of the ritual will be a means of continuing this self-love practice into the future without necessarily having to do a full ritual every time.
Start by threading your needle with a colored thread of your choice that represents love and self-love to you. Then begin sewing the two cut outs together. If you aren’t used to sewing this may look messy, but don’t worry.
Once you get most of the way around, before it's completely stitched together, stop and begin stuffing it with regular stuffing. While stuffing it, add in some loose herbs periodically and maybe a drop or two of essential oils. If you can, add either some of your own hair or nail clippings. Also consider adding in a slip of paper with your name on it or a small picture of yourself.
When it is almost fully stuffed, you will want to add your self-love crystal to the inside. Try to see if you can work it to where it is near the heart center. If your candle is still burning from the previous candle ritual, you can drip some of the wax into the stuffing as well. Be sure to avoid letting the flame too close so that it does not catch on fire.
When it is all ready, you can finish sewing up the poppet. If you want, you can draw a face on it as well. Hold it over your altar and name it as you. Then hug it and say the phrase you have been using in the other parts of the ritual. “I love myself unconditionally.” Envision the poppet filled with love and projecting love outwards. Fill it with your love and feel that love filling you.
This poppet can be used as a way of reminding yourself to love yourself daily. Keep it on your altar or bed. Hug it daily or whenever you need a loving reminder.
Step 6: Snuggle Time
The final step is one that you can do anytime. Get in your comfy clothes or pajamas. Put on your favorite feel good movie. Get your favorite snacks and drink. Wrap yourself in your favorite blanket and just spend time with yourself. Hold your poppet as you watch the movie too.
This can take as little or as much time as you want. If you don’t want to watch a movie you can read a book instead. Make it your special time and snuggle in and take a guilt free moment to just be.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Take some time for yourself this Valentine's Day. Make your Self-Love Ritual as complex or as simple as you like, but make it about you.
Let us know how you plan on treating yourself!